Shingeki no Host Club
by Happily Rainbow
Summary: Nekozawa sells the host club a idol that can allow the holder to meet characters of other anime. While they intend to summon people from a nice, happy, anime the instead get the members of Levi's squad.
1. Nekozawa's idol

The host club was bored. Awfully bored. There had been no customers at all that day. No girls to entertain. For once the hosts had to entertain someone new; themselves. Haruhi sat on one of the couches and studied. The twins were playing videogames. Honey and Mori were having a puppet show. Kyoya was doing whatever the hell he does. (most likely watching hidden camera footage) Tamaki however had issues…. He craves attention and no one was giving him any. Not even Haruhi. Infact when he even went near her she told him to "bug off sempi". The blonde started to become reckless. He started growing mushrooms everywhere. Fungus was on the ceiling, on the couches, and all over Haruhi's books. She started getting very pissed. "TAMAKI! Get your mushrooms away from me! Find something else to do. I am TRYING to study." She stomped out, kicking any mushrooms in her path and slammed the large doors behind her. The host club stood in silence. Suddenly the door turned dark and a ominous fog poured into music room three. The door creaked open and a hooded figure appeared out of the darkness. Next peeked out a yellow cat puppet. "I hear you are bored. The black magic club can help with that. *insert evil laughter here* I have a new product for you. I think you will find it quite…. entertaining." Spoke the hooded figure. Tamaki, (who had stopped growing mushrooms) glared at the hooded figure with now visible black hair. "Nekozawa. How nice to see you. What kind of product are we talking about?" "Yeah Nekozawa-chan! What is it?" Nekozawa inched out of the darkness to show the host club his new product. In his hands he held a small idol that resembled a human anatomy figure. "This is my newest creation. It allows you to see the worlds of other anime. Anime that may or may not be happy. You will gain the experience of the dark side. This will certainly be worth the price." The majority of the host club looked hopefully at Kyoya. He ignored them. This did not crumble their enthusiasm. Or the puppy eyes. "Please Kyoya?" "Please? I'll give you some cake?" "Mommy?" Kyoya had met his match. "Fine. How much?" Nekkozawa looked over at the raven haired boy, wondering if he really did just ask what he thought he did. "5 yen" Kyoya handed over the five yen and in return was handed the idol. It was then snatched away by the twins. "So how does this thing work?" They asked. "You must read this enchantment. Do any of you by any chance speak German?" Kyoya raised his hand. Nekkozawa moved closer to him and handed him a sheet of crumbled paper. They twins then handed Kyoya the idol. "Now read it." Everyone was on their toes. Tamaki looked as if he would explode at any given moment. "SIE SIND DAS ESSEN UND WIR SIND DIE JÄGER." 


	2. The Members of the Survey Corps

"No refunds."

With that comment Nekozawa left the music room in a cloud of smoke. Kyoya, who was still holding the idol was sure he'd been scammed. After all it was cheap... And from Nekozawa... Untrustworthy.

An hour passed, and the host club was still staring at the idol. What was it? A cheap knockoff? The paranoia continued. Soon they slowly left the music room one by one, starting with Honey. Then Tamaki, and lastly Kyoya.

The idol was left all alone on the pedestal on which the infamous vase once sat. Suddenly it started to crack. The cracks worked it's way up the the top of the idol, splitting it open. A large puff of white smoke appeared with a booming crack. The smoke soon filled the room. Tamaki heard the loud explosion her burst into the music room to see what had happened.

A battle was raging in the big ass tree forest. One by one soldiers were getting snatched up and swung around like a ball on a tether by the titans. The remaining soldiers were covered in blood. Among these were the fearless members of the scouting legion; Levi, Erwin, Hanji, and Petra. They had made it their personal goal to take down the female titan once and for all. At the moment all four were currently in a high speed chase with the titan, dodging trees like bullets.

Petra was currently in the lead slashing at the blonde titans neck, hoping to at kill it with her if she died. The female titan lifted up the blonde and brought her to its head and dropped Petra in. With a crunch and a splatter of blood she was gone.

The remaining leaders did not hold back as they continued to tail the titan. They could not stop or more soldiers would die. Squad Levi was almost entirely wiped out, HanjiYou stupid piece of shit! You killed my chocolate!s eyebrows, her swords slashing the titan at any opening. The titan took notice of this and gave an opening for her to attack. Hanji, who did not notice this was a trap sprung at the spot ready to attack. The female titan clasped her hands around Hanji like a child with a lightning bug and soon she had met the same fate as Petra.

Now it was just Erwin and Levi. They had seen their two friends be mercilessly eaten by this titan menace. This plan was not working. Levi and Erwin needed to attack together. If only it worked that way.

** Their attacks were almost in sync. They repeatedly struck the hand covering the titans mouth. They struggled to escape, but it was no use. They both were about to join their comrades.**


End file.
